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Today, I finished writing a story that I started in February. It's a pretty short story compaired to what I normally write, but still, it has about 100 pages. Now I want to start writing the next story because I finished my written final exams and have one month of freetime until my oral exam, so I want to use that time to write a little book.

But you know what? Every time I finish a story, or a project in general (drawing, video, etc.) it feels like falling into a very deep hole. I feel so empty. And down. And I can't really motivate myself to start something new. Do you know that feeling?

And then I feel like nobody gives a damn about my work anyway. Comments on my stories are so rare and even not always positive (of course) and comments on my videos are even fewer.

But I also know that this feeling is just my crazy mood and totally not true and that I'll soon feel better, so I should probably just stop whining.

Apart from that - I need FAKE fanfiction, dammit! Or internet fiction in general! Guys, seriously, why is it so hard to write a bit more? I mean, I'm a totally lazy girl and even I managed to write (and finish!) a 100-pages-book in less than half a year! It's really not that hard! So come on, gimme some! :D

Fu. Well, wanna know something more about what I'm doing at the moment? Heck, I'll tell you anyway! :D

So, for example, I just bought my first e-book. Yes, you read it right: I, although I never wanted to support this whole e-book thingie, bought my first e-book! But only because the book sounded so interesting and it's only available as e-book. Damn. It's called "Feral" by Alexa Land, by the way, and you should totally check it out - it's well written, it's slash and it's really cheap, so if you have an e-book reader, go ahead! It's worth the money. I, by the way, downloaded the e-book via the reader of my dad - I hope he'll never look closer at what exactly I downloaded there on his e-book reader, haha! :D So I guess I should get my own reader soon because there seem to be tons and tons of slash e-books out there that are worth reading, and I don't really want to spam my poor dad's reader with gay porn novels. xD

So, what am I doing right now? Well, yesterday I was at a friend's (my first and only male friend who I got to know only some weeks ago via the internet, just so you know) and we watched Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, I'm still a total pirate fan. And Jack Sparrow is just awesome. Too bad he's not gay, haha. Although I could imagine him really well with Will Turner, nyahaha! ;D

Talking about pirates, I think I'll soon try to make some fanart for the Raised by Wolves series. Believe it or not, there is absolutely no fanart out there! (I guess I already mentioned that lack of visual material in another post, haven't I?) I just don't get it, I mean, every stupid fandom has lots of fanfiction and fanart, and an amazing series like this has absolutely nothing? How can that be?! Well, the only reason why I haven't yet started drawing is that I fear I'm a bit out of practice. And that it will be hard to do the books justice. :( But hey, you know me by now - I'll try anyway! :D

I guess I won't babble more about my boring life now because this post is already far too long for a "Hey-I'm-still-alive"-post. I just had to get all this off my chest. So, bye now, dear fellows! Stay tuned! :)


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 21st, 2013 09:28 pm (UTC)
Aww. *Snuggle* I didn't realize you were in a slump. Want me to write a short story for you? I need the practice and I want to cheer you up at the same time. I don't really know about a lot of other yaoi's besides FAKE and I like to slash characters from a game from Dynasty Warriors, so that's about it. I want to see more fun yaoi but for some reason, they don't seem to be as powerful as FAKE. So if you have a pairing along with an idea, let me know or I'll try to rack my brain for something nice for you like you did with that dedicatoin video. Chin up and I know you can do it.

Are you stories posted here or somewhere eles. I would love to see how you write.

Stalli Anna
Apr. 22nd, 2013 01:25 pm (UTC)
Oh thank you :3
You know, I already feel much better, partly thanks to you because just as I was feeling down, I read all your lovely comments on my video and that really helped me to get up again :)
But of course, I'd never say no to fanfiction! :D Especially since I never had a story dedicated to me, so that would really make me happy :) I don't have any special wishes, but I'm sure you'll come up with something nice :3 But please don't stress yourself! Only write it if you have the time :)
As for my stories, I mostly write original shortstories and longer stories about fantasy and / or romance, especially gay romance. I'd love to share them with you, but they are in German :/ You don't perhaps speak German, do you? :D
Apr. 22nd, 2013 05:39 pm (UTC)
Guten Tag
I haven't spoken much German since high school when I was trying to take a class. Boy that was hard. I love the language but I wish there was an easier way to learn it without having to go to that country. Sure I have some German in me, but for some reason, Japanese is where my heart is going. That and Chinese. I should learn German as well because of the business industry. I only know very little from so long ago. Ich sprache vieg Deuche (I'm sure I spelled most of that wrong :D) My computer doesn't even give me the two little dots over letters that are needed for German :p
Apr. 22nd, 2013 10:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Guten Tag
I think if German wasn't my native language, I would never ever try to learn it. It must be really, really complicated to learn. And I already found latin hard enough! :D How many years did you learn German?
But hey, at least you understand a bit of German - and Japanese and Chinese! That's impressive. You seem to like complicated languages, huh? :D
I prefer easier languages though, like French and English - although I'd find it cool to learn Japanese and Russian as well. But I fear I'm not motivated enough for that. :/
Oh by the way, if you understand Japanese, can you perhaps tell me what the hell is going on in the FAKE Drama CD? Because it's only available in Japanese, so I didn't understand much when I listened to it xD

P.S.: äöüß (sorry I couldn't resist xD)
Apr. 23rd, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
Re: Guten Tag
I love Japanese. It's a shame I don't know as much as I wish I did. I use a lot of online dictionays to find what I need to know. I do watch a lot of anime but it's not easy to learn from those. So I'm a self-learner and I'm doing really bad at it :D Then there's Chinese. I have Chinese in me as well from my dad's side and he was flutent in Mandarin, but me, I'm not so good with it either. I can say thank you, you're welcome, mom and dad and that's about it. That is a complicated language for me. German falls into complication as well. To me, it's spoken backwards. But most languages are. My hubby speakes Spanish so any country that has a Spanish base, he can figure out the basics. I had a friend who tried to learn Latin as well but I forgot how she said it was.

Blarh to you and your fancy umlaos (I know that's not right.) Umm... fancy dots over your letters :p
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