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January 13th, 2018

Why I've been so quiet lately...

I had this whole entry already typed out and then LJ didn’t save it. Ugh, that sucks.

Anyways, here I go again trying to explain why I have somehow stopped being active on Livejournal, if anyone is even still following me and is wondering where I’ve been.

[Here’s why...]2017 has literally changed my life. I finished my apprenticeship as a bookseller, moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years to end the tiresome struggles of a long-distance relationship, worked full-time and then started studying literature and philosophy. I got obsessed with some new fandoms (Yuuri on Ice!!!), got back into some old fandoms (Harry Potter and the wonderful Raised by Wolves book series by W.A. Hoffman), attended numerous funerals and we adopted two cats. I found some awesome new friends, started a German blog, tried out some new hobbies, resumed some old hobbies (drawing!!!) and stayed in touch with my sister abroad. And that was only a small synopsis but I won’t bother you with any more details.

All in all, real life kept me pretty busy in 2017. I was afraid I wouldn’t find any friends here in my new home because I’m quite shy and not very outgoing, but oh boy, I have found the best friends ever at university. They love reading and writing own stories just as much as I do, we are passionate about the same things and have so much in common. I never had friends like that, except for one good friend who sadly lives far away from me. I wish everyone in this world will someday experience the friendship of such loyal, kind and like-minded people.

On the downside though, all that private reading and writing as well as reading and learning for university is putting a strain on my time management. I abandoned some old hobbies and habits because I don’t have time for them anymore – or rather, because they are not important enough for me right now. And LJ is one of those things I abandoned, even though I once loved it. It used to be my safe haven, my playground and one of my favorite internet places where I could interact with like-minded FAKE fans. I found some good friends here and I still love you all. But after experiencing more love, joy and friendship in real life than I ever had before, I hate to say this, but: the real thing is simply better than anything the internet could ever offer. Even though there are some really awesome people here on LJ, I prefer the real people, real love, real life. I'm sorry to let you down like that.

And besides, I must admit I’m not so very excited about FAKE anymore, which was my main reason to be active on LJ. After many years of worshipping it like no fandom ever before, I’m just a little bit worn out with it. Not only because the fandom isn't very active or because it's always so tiresome to get new doujinshi scans (and then they are in Japanese! Argh!), but simply because my FAKE obsession went on for so long and now it has finally cooled down. Maybe because my life is so saturated with love right now that I don't need romantic mangas anymore to satisfy my cravings. Don’t get me wrong, I still love FAKE and I’m sure I will return to it someday and the love and obsession for it will hit me again with full force (because this is always the way with fandoms), but for the time being, I’ve had enough.


So in short, I’m not dead, I'm just busy and in love with my life right now. I don’t know what the future will bring and maybe I will return to LJ one day, but not today. At the very least, I will pay it a visit from time to time, just because it holds some fond memories for me - and I like to see what you are all up to every now and then.

I hope you understand.